We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
