pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
