Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
