Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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