Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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