My underwear smells like fireworks.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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