Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
