Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
