Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
People with herpes should wear stickers.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Alive.
So much puke
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
