Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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