I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
