I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
