Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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