I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
