My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
