how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
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