every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize