He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I see more hoeing in ur future
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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