I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
