someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
