You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
