I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
