I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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