Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
