Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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