Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
