i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
This is the prime rib incident all over again
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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