HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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