margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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