i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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