I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
