Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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