Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize