I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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