were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
