I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
