ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
