I bet he comes in French.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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