our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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