She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
