But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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