It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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