At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
