I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
