so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize