so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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