Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
