with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
