i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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