LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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