we have officially lost it.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i've created a new STD.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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