I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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