Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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