Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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