You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
