I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
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