you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
