its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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